Saturday, July 16, 2011

My Little Cowpoke is TWO!!!

Getting a beer for Uncle Garry -- it's important for children to have chores, it gives them a sense of responsibility.
Hugging her sweet friend Ella.

Bumper cars!


Taking a break from the heat in the water park


The girly girls waiting for a ride.
Hannah is a sterotypical horrible Asian driver


My pretty princess riding her horse

Playing in the fountains uptown Oxford

Hugging her sweet Kaz friend Milla

The Freedom Riders.


 She is such a good swimmer ~ she goes all by herself!

For our family, July has been a month of extreme highs and lows.  It started with a very busy July 4th weekend. Friday on a whim we decided to head to Kings Island with my friend Staci and her daughters Ella and baby Ainsley.  Hannah and Ella get along really great and had a wonderful time despite the stifling crowds and repressive heat.  Saturday we had an impromtu pool party, and in the middle of it, with 20 some people at the house waiting to eat, Hannah fell off the counter and hit her head on the hardwood floor. So we packed up and headed to Cincinnati Children's for a head x-ray.  She was fine, just black and blue.  Sunday we were supposed to go the Reds game, but decided at the last minute to head to our small town penny carnival and parade with another Kaz family. The girls had a blast playing in the fountains and chowing down on junk food.  Living in a small town can be as maddening as it is quaint and wonderful. 4th of July is always one of the wonderful days.

Then, three days later, the bottom fell out.  Many of you know that my grandmother and cousin both passed away very suddenly, very unexpectedly, and very tragically on July 7th.  It was a sad, confusing, and devastating time, but we are a strong family; we are hanging in there and moving forward.  I will say this -- the experience did awaken me to the understanding that no day is promised.  I gave the eulogy at my grandmother's funeral.  I thought I would post it here, because I make my blogs into books for Hannah, and I would like to remember one day what I said.


Most of you know me, but for those who do not, I am Erin, Marilyn's grandaughter. As I look around this room today, I am overwhelmed by outpouring of love I have seen from her family and friends. It is a testament not only to how she lived, but to how special she was, and to how many people she touched in her earthly life.


My grandmother lived with Gusto. She loved many things, including a good book, a good movie, and yes, occasionally even a good cocktail. And she was nothing, if not a card shark. She loved going to Vegas and to the gambling boats, and she even loved staying home playing video poker on the computer. I have to wonder, if subconsciously, she knew that the game of Poker was somewhat of a metaphor for her life. She wasn't always dealt the easiest of hands. She faced health issues, the loss of her parents, and a beloved sibling. But through it all, she handled each challenge with grace and dignity. She and my grandfather Jack were truly TWO OF A KIND. Although they bickered, their love was deep, and strong, and true. They recently celebrated their 57th wedding anniversary. I remember once, about 10 years ago, I caught them holding hands in a store, and I commented on how amazing it was, that after decades together, they were still in love. I remember my grandfather saying  "I have to hold her hand, Erin, because, if I let go, even for a minute, she goes shopping."  And finally, both literally and figuratively, she loved nothing more than A FULL HOUSE. I never saw her happier than on birthdays, holidays, and other occassions upon which her home was overflowing with children, grandchildren, siblings, nieces, nephews, and friends. 


As a family, one of the hard lessons we have learned this week, is that it matters not how a person dies, but how they lived.


One thing my grandmother didn't like, was funerals.  in fact, she probably wouldn't be here today if she didn't absolutely have to be.  It has been a difficult week for our family. We have truly been shown both the fragility of life but also, we have seen the strength of the human spirit.  The wonderful memories we have will console us now and in the future.
 Many of you know that my Grandmother suffered from chronic pain.  In a small way, it is fitting that her earthy body left us so close to Independence day.  As she rests in the arms of G-d, she is now celebrating her independence from her pain and suffering. 
Many of you also know that I myself, have a beautiful daughter Hannah Elizabeth, who turns two years old today.  I never expected, as we celebrated my daughter's birth, we would also be mourning my grandmother's death. But as we are told in Ecclesiastes, Chapter 3, Verse 1, To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven.


Today we have lost a very special person.  A wife, a mother, grandmother, aunt, and friend, but each of us has gained a guardian angel.  As we say our final goodbyes and hug each other let the tears and love flow, let us find strength and comfort in the knowledge that her soul rests in the kingdom of heaven, and we will one day all be reunited, and what a wonderful, special Hava Nagila Party in the Sky it will be.
Here's the thing about life -- it goes on.  And in spite of our grief, I had a two year old who needed to feel loved and celebrated on her birthday. So a week after we said goodbye to two beloved family members, we reconvened for a Cowgirl Rodeo Party.  Although we toned down the celebration this year in lieu of the recent events (petting zoo and hay rides cancelled),  it was still a rootin-tootin, hog killin' good time!   We had around 40 people over to the "Herman Ranch", including some of Hannah's Kaz and Korea friends, family, and of course neighbors.  The kids donned hats and boots and panned for gold, played in the bounce house, ate fried chicken, Texas Tater Salad,  and Buffalo Bill's Baked Beans, and we older folks kicked up our boots and relaxed at the Waterin' Hole.  In the shadow of death, we took a moment to celebrate life. I know my grandmother would have loved the party and I know that although she was not able to be there in person, she was there in spirit.  


Goodbye Grandma. Happy Trails To You.  Until We Meet Again.....  



























12 comments:

Susan said...

Erin-thanks for the invite. Wow, you are an AMAZING WRITER. I HAVE BEEN reading your last few blog posts with a tear in my eye, but joy in my heart. :)
I love your love for you lil girl and how you have given her wings go fly. Your excitement and love for life is contagious and it's no wonder that Hannah is defying any expectation. She is a beautiful, headstrong lil princess who will take the world by storm. Despite the fact that you rock a white bikini and I am envious envious of your hot lil bod (smile), your inner beauty sure signs thru in your actions, and in your writing. What a gift! Your tribute to your grandmother was beautiful. If you haven't read it-Heaven is for Real is a wonderful book that will comfort you on days you really miss your poker playin Grandma.
I loved the fact that your granpda held her hand or she'd go shopping. If Joe takes my laptop away...or my paypal, I'm in trouble.

Happy 2nd birthday to your darling lil angel. :) May her journey from 2 to 3 be full of miracles too.

Trudi said...

Your tribute to your grandmother is maybe the most beautiful and heartfelt i have ever read. And your story about yur grandpa...justmade me laugh out loud.

Yes, it has been a hard July for the Herman family, but together you have made it a tribute to all that life is: family, friends, adventures, loss, pain, loss, sorrow and picking up the pieces to heal. That is no small accomplishment. Big hugs.

And you are a fabulous writer and photographer too.

Tammy said...

What a beautiful tribute to your grandmother and what an incredibly hard thing to do. Your emotions must have been boiling over, with your grandma's funeral and Hannah's birthday on the same day. Your grandmother will live on, that's for sure. And every year that you celebrate Hannah's life, you will celebrate hers and your cousin's as well.

I'm glad Hannah had such a fantastic birthday party. That is the strange thing about great loss, isn't it? The rest of the world keeps on turning. While all you can think about is your loss, everyone else goes on smiling and laughing. The joy you find in Hannah will keep you going, even through the worst of it.

Dean and Janie said...

Hi Erin! Thank you for sending an invitation! I absolutely adore Hannah's collage of pics and all of the special memories you have posted to share with us. I am so sorry to hear about your family's recent sadness. You have definitely been in my thoughts.
Sending much love to you and that sweet Hannah!
Janie

Kim said...

Lovely tribute to your grandmother! So sorry for the pain of loss but glad you can rest in the fact she is in Heaven and you will see her again! That is peace that passes understanding. What a fun party for you beautiful angel Hannah! You are a remarkable young woman Erin and a great Mama!

Kelly and Sne said...

LOVE the tribute to your Grandmother and again, I am so sorry for your losses. I can understand how hard it can be to be grieving but yet still keep a chin up for your child who doesn't really understand. Sne's Mom died 2 years ago and Miras was so excited to travel to California to see his Grandpa and Aunts and Uncle who were dealing with their grief. It was a hard line to walk. It is too bad that Grandma had to miss Hannah's party - it seems like she would have loved a good one. And you are the most creative person! I love the invitations, the theme, everything!

MyGirlElena said...

Beautiful eulogy!
The party pictures speak for themselves. It looks like everyone had a marvelous time!!

Alaina said...

Simply beautiful. I am so sorry for your tragic losses and so thankful for your gorgeous daughter. Love you both!

Kami said...

As always your post brought both smiles and tears. I LOVED your party invitations, what an adorable idea from start to finish. You definitely are one of the most creative people I know.

Your Eulogy to your Grandma was beautiful and again I am so sorry for your families losses.

Happy #2 Hannah! Looking forward to eavesdropping in on your journey to #3.

Lisa said...

My friend, I just suspect that no one ( besides that beautiful party girl herself!) would have had a grander time at Hannie's 2nd birthday bash that your amazing Grandma! And I know in my heart & mind that she watched each precious moment and laughted with delight when those candles were blown out celebrating another year ahead!

Your tribute was nothing short of amazing ~ your writing is so touching.

I'm sorry you all faced such a horrendous loss but rejoice in the celebration of your sweet girl!

XOXO

erinskazblog said...

Erin: Hugs to you and your birthday girl! XOXOXO quaintance

Carolyn Tarpey said...

Erin,

What beautiful post, I am so sorry for your loses. What an amazing ad creative 2nd birthday you put together for your adorable daughter! I know your Grandma would have loved the party and even though she wasn't there she was there in spirit!

Thank for the invite, I love reading your blog, you are a great writer and most importantly a wonderful mother!

xxoo