It's Fall Y'all!!
"You do the hokey pokey and you turn yourself around..." Hannie, in the past few months, has become the next America Idol. She sings anything and everything, I wish there were some Halloween songs to teach her. Speaking of festivities, we have been having an Awesome Autumn this year! Hannie and I have been enjoying all the fall fun that Southwestern Ohio has to offer this year, including HallZOOeen with some Kaz families, King's Island Howl-O-Fest, and The Great Pumpkin Fest in West Chester. We are getting many miles out of the $12 Walmart pirate costume, which is good, since by the time the actual Holiday roles around, it will most likely be too cold to actually wear it. We also have her best friend Ava's 3rd birthday party, Trunk or Treat, and a trip to Barn and Bunk for pumpkins and our annual "How Tall This Fall" picture to look forward to. Hannah is currently enjoying gymnastics and swimming lessons. We have our "Wednesday Evening Routine" of going to the YMCA, then to Target and Starbucks for hot vanilla steamers and cake pops. We both love it. Last year at this time I blogged about being worried she might never walk. I am proud to announce she is now the fasted runner in her class!
Hannah continues to thrive. She is becoming a great conversationalist, here are a few of our recent discussions:
Hannie (handing me my cell phone): I wanna call Uncle Garry
Me: It's late, he is sleeping.
Hannie (audible sigh): It okay. I text him instead.
Hannah: I wanna hold a candle.
Me: okay...
Hannah: I not stick it up my nose, okay? Dat nice Mommy?!
Hannah: What dat man wearing? Why he wear dat shirt?!
Me: Shssshhhh!!
Sidenote: It wasn't a man. It was a very ugly woman.
Hannah (to a boy in her music class): Hey! Hey! HEY!!!
Me: Hannah, that is not polite, please use his name to get his attention.
Music Teacher: She is. His name is Heyward.
Awkward :-)
She is still a pistol, but the cuteness and funny personality more than make up for the moments of toddler drama.
On that note, I wanted to share an article that I feel should be required reading for any and all prospective adoptive parents. In After The Airport, Jen Hatmaker, mother of 5 children, 2 adopted from Ethiopia, writes about the challenges of mothering kids who are dealing with trauma and loss. For a variety of reasons, adoption and orphan care have become increasingly popular in recent years. It's probably due to the internet, celebrity adoptions, and events like Orphan Sunday, which aims to bring increased attention and awareness to the plight of disadvantaged and orphaned children around the world.
These are all good things.
But. Life is not The Blind Side, and some of the media that perpetuates fluffy, feel good, half-truths about adoption can be damaging. We have to remember that it's not all about homecoming parties and happy airport pictures and congratulatory facebook fervor. It's about attachment and bonding and behavior management and rage and fear and exhaustion and the entire gamut of emotions that come with parenting children who, as Jen Hatmaker so perfectly puts it,
have been abused, abandoned, neglected, given away, given up, and left alone are shaken so deeply, so intrinsically, they absolutely require parents who are willing to wholly invest in their healing; through the screaming, the fits, the anger, the shame, the entitlement, the bed-wetting, the spitting, the rejection, the bone-chilling fear. Parents who are willing to become the safe place, the Forever these children hope for but are too terrified to believe in just yet.
But if you do decide to open their homes and minds and hearts to abandoned children, please consider these points..
1. Educate yourself. Don't unintentionally perpetuate the cycle of disruption and corruption. Do your research, prepare, understand that many (BUT NOT ALL) adoption agencies are for-profit organizations and are not necessarily ethical and transparent. Be aware that adopted children, no matter what the country or situation, come from trauma. Remember that, in the end, after the paperwork and travel and court dates and emotions, you can't just be about adoption, you have to be into parenting.
2. Supporting the RIGHT organizations. Like Transparency International and other NGOs that publicize and fight against corporate and political corruption in international development. Like The Gates Foundation, which develops culturally sensitive family planning initiatives intended to improve both maternal and child health and survival while also addressing reproductive health and population issues in developing countries.
3. And last and most importantly, have Faith and Prayer and Trust in a God who wrapped his arms around our children during the times when we could not. Faith that He loves and protects our children during the days and months and sometimes years when there is no one to dry their tears and comfort them. And Faith that he will heal the hurt and trauma caused by these past experiences.
Because this is what God Does....
...and that's what it's all about.
Happy Fall Y'all. Love, Erin
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