Thursday, April 29, 2010

There's no place like home....

"Life takes us to unexpected places.  Love brings us home."
Well we are home!!! After a whirlwind 2nd trip to Kaz and two 50 hour plane rides, Hannah is officially asleep and content in her new room and her mommy is exhausted but over the moon with happiness!!!  I haven't updated in a while so I wanted to talk a little bit about the 2nd trip. 
We were supposed to leave last Wed, and Tuesday night I was out to dinner when the phone rang, and it was the travel agent. Did I hear about the volcanic ash cloud?  Yeah....Well, my flight was canceled!!!  Luckily my agent, Lynn at Countryside Travel was able to book Elizabeth and I on another flight out through Seoul Korea. It was a lot longer --it took almost 50 hours total, but we left Wednesday as scheduled and got to Almaty friday night.  The Seoul airport is amazing.  Its huge with tons of restaurants and shops, free wifi everyhwere, and  we went to the Korean  cultural center and participated in all kids of free activities they have for guests -- we painted ornaments, dressed up in traditional Korean garb and posed for photos, listened to a folk music show.  IWe got a few hours of sleep at good old Alma Ata and then left bright and early Sat morning for Shymkent (yes, I went back to Shymkent.  I could have had her escorted to Almaty on Sunday, but I decided I couldn't spend one more night without my daughter!!).  We got into Shymkent and went straight to the baby house to pick up Hannah.  They told me she had been sick, and did I want to leave her there one more night so the doctors could check up on her.  Um, no.  That is not okay, I said.  My translator Balzhan totally went to bat for me and the next thing I knew she was in my arms and we were on our way to the apartment. 
To be perfectly candid, the first day was really hard.  Hannah didn't nap AT ALL.  She was wide awake, fussy and barely ate a thing, Eliz and I were exhausted and worried. Thank goodness for friends!!  Our Peace Corps pals came right over and we took turns rocking her. Sipra had the magic touch and was finally able to get a bottle of formula down her.  I was really worried until we found out part of the reason WHY she had been so fussy.  Here is what happened.  The doctor at the baby house gave me some medicines for her to take, one of which was a brochodialator inhaler.  She was supposed to use it 3-4x per day.  We found out too late that the one she was on also worked as a stimulant, like caffeine in coffee!! No wonder she didn't sleep!!!  So I immediately stopped giving her the inhaler.  Within one day, she was napping, eating and her cold/congestion had completely cleared up and she was back to her normal happy self.
We spent the day in Shymkent, catching up with everyone, having dinner at Caravan, and watching a Kaz wedding party.  It was a fun night, and I really wish I could have enjoyed it more, but I was really worried about Hannah and feeling sick and tired myself.  On Sunday morning, we boarded the plane for the quick 45 min trip back to Almaty with Hannah and our translator, who was bringing Hannah's little buddy Kiera to her mommy in Almaty.  Hannah is a champ at flying.  During all 4 flights we were on, she slept, ate, and didn't fuss at all.  How did I get so lucky?!  So we got there Sunday and went to the hotel.  It was great to see Carol again!!!  It is truly amazing how quickly one bonds with the other adoptive families during this life altering experience.  Carol is awesome and will be a great mom.  She brought a friend with her this time, also named Elizabeth!  We all went out to dinner that night at Soho, which was delicious, and we were lucky our friend Philip was in town and able to join us for the meal as well.  Hannah LOVED going out to eat and people watching from her stroller in the restaurant.  She flirted with everyone and is the life of the party!!
    On to Monday, we went down to the free breakfast at the hotel and then headed to the SOS clinic for the appointment, which was quick and easy. We met another family bringing home 3 little ones from Ust.  Then we went to Panfilov park with Carol, Elisabeth, and Kiera.  It was amazing!!!  We took pictures in front of the famous war monument and the gorgeous Cathedral.  We let the girls watch the kids playing on the playgrounds and walked around the beautiful wooded grounds.  Then we headed to the American bar and grill (which was similar to a Fridays) for dinner.  The girls were great! 
Tuesday was our Embassy appointment. It was quick and easy, they didn't ask me for any extra paperwork or anything and gave me the famous sealed envelope to present to the Immigration authority at our port of entry.  Then we went to Zum (sp?) to shop for souveniers.  After a quick final dinner with Carol and her crew at Pomodoro, we went back to the hotel to pack and get ready to leave on the 11pm flight.  It was a long trip home, but Hannah was amazing --she slept, ate, played with toys, and basically just went with the flow...She is such a good baby!! We got a hotel room in LAX to catch up on sleep and then finally made it home, where the grandparents somehow managed to bypass ALL the airport security and were basically waiting for us on the runaway (okay, a little exaggeration, but not much!).  They were so excited!!! 
Okay, now I digress.  I know all the books tell you that to promote attachment and help the child adjust you should keep everything quiet for a while.  I plan on doing that, too, starting tomorrow.  I wanted to keep Hannah's first day at home quiet, but of course I knew that probably wasn't going to happen and I was right.  Have you ever seen the over-enmeshed family in My Big Fat Greek Wedding? Well, we make those people look like amateurs.  I could have locked the doors and boarded up the windows and those people were so excited to see this baby that they would have gotten in somehow anyway!  Hannah's great grandparents and my friends Amber, John, and Denise just HAD to see her, and she really liked them a lot.  She laughed and smiled and charmed the pants off of them.  I caught up on some sleep while mom took her for a walk in her stroller around the neighborhood, and as soon as the neighbors saw the stroller pull out of the driveway, the swarmed it!  Everyone on Orient Way is so excited to meet the newest member of the Cult-de-sac as we call it.  Hannah handled it like a champ and waved and blew raspberries at anyone who would watch.  Then it was bath, book, bottle, and bed.  She is out like a light and soon I will be too.  I feel she is doing very well with attachment, she stares into my eyes and smiles when I feed and bathe her, and she looks for me whenever I leave the room or she doesn't hear my voice.  From now on, the days will be quieter and we will continue her adjustment process, but so far she has handled everything beautifully and I am one happy mama!!  I keep peeking in on her to make sure it isn't all a dream...it's not, there really is a baby in this house!!!  I am blessed beyond my wildest dreams to have this wonderful gift in my life, and I am so grateful that the adoption went so flawlessly.   I pray for the families still waiting to bring their little ones home that they have as amazing and enlightening of an experience as I did.  And I pray for the children left behind, that they will find families as well.  It was with a mixture of happiness and sadness that I left Kazakhstan.  The nation will always be in my heart because they entrusted me with their greatest gift -- their future, their children.  But I left with a sense of peace, knowing that I will be back again in a couple years to give Hannah a sibling.  And no matter what, Hannah will always know what an amazing, beautiful place she came from.  Welcome home, Hannah.
Not flesh of my flesh
Nor bone of my bone,
But still miraculously my own.
Never forget for a single minute,
You didn’t grow under my heart,
But in it.

Thursday, April 15, 2010

We are the TRUTH

The Joint Council on International Children's Services has dubbed today, April 15, 2010, as We Are The Truth day. To ensure the world knows about every successful adoption, on Thursday, April 15, 2010 the adoption community is to blog about their adoption or the adoption of someone they know. For those of you who don't know about the recent uproar in the adoption world, the story below is the background information. After that, our story.

MOSCOW -- Russia suspended all adoptions to U.S. families on Thursday until the two countries can agree on procedures, the Foreign Ministry said, a week after an American woman sent her 7-year-old adopted son back to Russia on a plane by himself.

The boy's return -- without supervision or explanation aside from a note he carried from his adoptive mother saying he had psychological problems -- has incensed Russia and prompted aggressive media coverage of foreign adoptions.

A U.S. delegation will visit Moscow "in the next few days" to discuss international adoptions and a possible bilateral agreement, ministry spokesman Andrei Nesterenko said.

"Russia believes that only such an agreement which will contain effective tools for Russian and U.S. officials to monitor the living conditions of adopted Russian children will ensure that recent tragedies in the United States will not be repeated," Nesterenko said in a televised briefing.

The Tennessee woman who sent back the 7-year-old boy last Thursday claimed she had been misled by his Russian orphanage about his condition.

Russians have been outraged that no charges have been filed against her.

For several years, Russian lawmakers have suggested suspending U.S. adoptions after other cases of abuse and even killings of Russian children adopted in the United States, but no formal measures had been taken until Thursday.

More than 1,800 Russian children were adopted in the United States last year, according to Russia's Health and Education Ministry.

So that is that.  Ms. Hanson's act is affecting the entire adoption community, myself included. I am scheduled to leave Wednesday to pick my beautiful daughter Hannah up from Shymkent Kazakhstan, and hopefully the reprehensible acts of one woman will not jeopardize that.
Now. Let it be know that adoptions ARE NOT EASY. Neither, though, are biological children.  You can have the best prenatal care in the world and still give birth to a child with a disability. Welcome to Holland, Torry.  Nothing in life is promised, and with adoption comes both hope and hurt. 
There are issues with attachment, medical reports are wrong, any number of things can and will happen.  But whether Ms Hanson's was prepared to deal with those issues or not, that child was hers, and you don't just give up on a child.  There are so, so many resources out there.  Social workers, support groups, therapists, etc. To be perfectly candid, adoptive parents do just as much, if not more, preparation than biological parents.  I have had numerous interviews, background checks, home studies, etc. Here are some interesting stats:         

38% of all Russian children adopted are adopted by Russian families. That means 62% go abroad. Of that 62% of those children go to the US. That means that the US adopts roughly as many Russian children than Russians do.
A US-Russian adoption moratorium or even outright ban would not only hurt the US families trying to adopt it would also hurt a large portion of Russian children, who might never get forever families.   
And now, for my truth.  We are the lucky ones, Hannah and her mommy.  My adoption journey, which started over a year ago, is coming to an end.  Two weeks from today, if all goes well, Hannah will be home.  She will likely never remember a time when she wasn't enveloped in love.  Adoption is not for the faint of heart, and it has been a roller coaster, but there isn't a day that goes by that I don't feel blessed beyond measure.  I love being Hannah's mom, and the connection we have to each other is deep and solid and true. She is my greatest joy and I will never, ever, give up on my daughter. This is our story, our truth.  
God Gives. God Takes. God’’s name be ever blessed. Job 1:21

Friday, April 2, 2010

Back to Kazland!! But not for a few weeks....

Just heard from the agency, I am to be back in Kaz in 21 days.  Bummed I can't go sooner, but I knew with Nauryz (a 5 day holiday!!)  and the consulate switching offices that it might be delayed.  I am so happy I will see Hannah soon, but I am very sad Jaime (Hannah's aunt Jaimima) won't be able to go with us to pick her up.  She is starting nursing school that week.  Elizabeth will be going (sent visa's in today) and we are hoping cousin Stacie, who is a flight attendant, will be meeting us in Frankfort this time around for the return trip.  We are also hoping to be able to see our amazing PCV friends again!! We will have a few days in Almaty, what are the must see attractions? Anyone else going to be there around then?