Battle Hymn of the Kaz Mom

First of all, thank you all for all the nice comments and emails on my last blog entry. Blogging is a great creative outlet for me.  It fuses three of the things I like best -- writing, photography, and bragging about my daughter!  I am however, for various reasons, planning to take my blog private again, so if you want an invite, let me know.  Also, if anyone knows how to get blogger to allow more than 100 readers, please shoot me a message. Now, on to the regularly scheduled programming...  

Today is one year to the day that I boarded the plane to Kazakhstan, and Wednesday is officially our "Meetcha Day"  One year ago, my name changed from Erin to "Mommy" and when people found out I was adopting a baby, one of the most popular questions was:

Do you want a boy or a little girl???

When I told people it did not matter to me, mostly they nodded knowingly.

"As long as it's healthy, right?"  Was the most common response.  The shock came when I said that didn't matter either.

No,I "responded. "I just want my baby.  If he or she is healthy, that will be great.  If not, that will be okay with me too. "  
  

 On my home study, I didn't request a gender, and I kept my age range broad.  For various reasons, most people who adopt internationally request girls, so, knowing that I did not request a gender (and this was back when you could request a gender), I prepared for a toddler boy.  I bought boy clothes.  I painted a room in boy colors.  I learned the names of Thomas and all his Train Friends.  I mentally prepared for a lifetime of monster truck rallies and wrestling camps.  And then, on a cold day in January, I heard those magical, life-changing words.  Girl.  Baby Girl.  To say I was shocked was an understatement.  A girl seemed like such an impossibility.  Even after I saw her picture, it didn't quite seem real. Even as we boarded the plane, bags packed with pink blankets and hair bows, I didn't quite believe it.  And then they placed her in my arms.  And everything changed in an instant.  I remember thinking, this is all a dream, because this much happiness isn't humanely possible.  I remember the euphoric, all-encompassing, deep to the bottom of the soul feeling of rightness.

"This is MY daughter. SHE's the one."

And the rest, as they say, is history.  But actually getting her was the easy part. Raising her, it seems, will be infinitely more tricky.  Lately, I have been reading a slew of parenting books, all preaching different messages, about the best way to raise our children.  Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mom promotes strict, uncompromising values and discipline in order to raise "sucessful" children.  Cinderella Ate My Daughter tells us to fear Disney Princesses and speaks of the insidiousness of the girlie girl culture.   They both make valid points.  After reading them, I was inspired to make a list for my own daughter, of things I have learned, and advice I can give.    

Here is what I have to offer:

1.  Travel the world. Don't be afraid to get lost, and keep a journal when you do so.  Live wherever your heart leads you to.  Your environment is vital to your well being.  Don't overpack. If you can't carry it, you probably don't need it.  Learn to appreciate the differences between cultures, and see how, in the end, we are all the same.

2.  Practice the art of altruism.  Give charitably, generously, and anonymously. Volunteer on behalf of others, and don't just give money.  Give your time, your attention, and your heart too. To those whom much is given, much is expected.

3.  Keep in touch with your family and old friends.  Visit, write, and call, even when it's expensive and inconvenient.   Remember, the roots are the strongest part of a tree.
  
4.  Know that children are a blessing, but remember that having children is like getting a tattoo on your face. You need to be really certain it is what you want to do before you commit.

5.  Right now you are very curious, inventive toddler. Don't ever lose that.  It's okay to color outside the lines.  Poetry doesn't have to rhyme.  Rules are meant to be broken.

6.  Don't marry someone you can live with, marry the person you cannot live without.  Remember that love is the closest thing we have to magic.  When it comes to men who are romantically interested in you, just ignore everything they say and only pay attention to what they do. Never let someone break your heart twice.
 

7. Be polite and grateful.  Handwrite thank you notes. Show gratitude when someone takes the time to do something nice for you, and treat others the way you would like to be treated.   When you eat the fruit, remember the person who planted the tree.

8. Don't be afraid to be smart.  Speak your mind, even if your voice shakes.  Read anything and everything you can.  Never stop learning and help others do the same.  Remember that a quality education has the power to transform societies in a single generation.

9.  Find your passion and make it your career.  Don't worry about salary.  Do what you love, and the money will come. No one's headstone ever read: Had lots of money in the bank.

10.  Laugh often and much.  Enjoy your life without comparing it to that of others. It is enough for you to know that you are good, without examining whether others are as good as you.

11.  Respect  yourself and your body.  Get in the habit early of exercising and eat right.  Find something that relaxes you.  It is not a waste of time to take a bubble bath, go for a walk, or reread your favorite book.

12. Believe.  In yourself, in God, in the goodness of people. Believe that all things are possible and you can do or be anything you want. 

And most importantly,  remember I love you, unconditionally, no matter what.   

Hannah Update:  One year to the day that I left for Kazakhstan, we had her baptized in the Catholic church.  It was a special, memorable day, filled with family and friends.  Here are some pictures from Hannie's dedication and the party that followed. 

Jeremiah 29:11  For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."