Simplify, Simplify, Simplify....

Two years ago last week (has it really been TWO YEARS??) I got the phone call that would change my life forever...

Congratulations, Erin! You have a daughter! 

From that point on, life became a race. Rushing to Kazakhstan, scurrying to get paperwork completed, vying for court dates and eventually plane tickets home.  Once she was on US soil, the marathon continued, as we raced to get her medical issues corrected, put weight on her, and helped her catch up to other kids her age on the developmental milestones. 

Last year my resolutions/life goals looked something like this...

I will get her walking more efficiently.  She will learn all her letters.  She will use 6 word sentences.  She will sleep through the night, every night.

The goals were met.  New ones were made. Those were met too.  I am exhausted.  And over it. 

So this year we resolve to do less.  Stress less.  Not make resolutions I won't keep.  At the same time, I made some positive changes this year that I'd like to continue cultivating.  So to clarify, here is my list (can you tell how much I love lists?!) of non-goals/positive affirmations for my 3rd year of Mommy-hood. Nothing new, just a self reminder to keep on keepin' on...  

We've made some amazing friends this year.  I am going to keep growing those friendships and relationships and enjoying the company of other kindred spirits.

I have raised a happy, confident, independent toddler.  I have taken care of her needs physically, emotionally, intellectually.  This year I am going to ease up on the flash cards and baby yoga.  More time for jumping of beds and building couch cushion forts.

Hannie is well dressed and my credit cards are feeling the effects.  This year, less time on Etsy = less credit card Regret-sy.

With Hannie in tow, I began exploring the creative side of my personality last year. Crafting, baking, photography, gardening, etc.  I am going to keep that up, for both of us.

This year, I managed to carve out some "me" time and resisted the urge to constantly multitask. Carry on. 

I began focusing more on the blessings in my life, on what I have instead of what I don't have.  I am
going to keep that focus because it gives my life purpose and balance.  

At the beginning of last year, I began to feel like maybe I should look into adoption again.  Not because I felt like I was ready for another one, but because I felt like having two was the typical thing to do, and I wanted to give Hannie everything I could, including a sibling relationship.  I have since decided to let go of that guilt complex.  I am not currently planning to adopt again.  It hurts me to even write that, but there is beauty in letting go sometimes.  I still look at photo listings every once in a while. I still follow the progress of Kaz Hague accreditation. It's not a definite NO.  But it's a NOT YET. 

This year I flossed every day, not just the week before  my dentist important.  Who has no cavities and pearly whites to show for it? THIS GIRL. Keepin it up.

This year I learned the difference between religion and relationship.  I prayed, went to church, and learned a little scripture, but more importantly, I think, I worked on the concept of DEEDS OVER CREEDS.  I'm going to continue to deepen my relationship with God by DOING things. Volunteering, Advocating, Donating, etc. In my opinion, that is the real basis of christianity.

As Maya Angelou says. “We do the best we can. When we know better, we do better.”
 More than anything else, I just really want to continue to enjoy my time with Hannie this year.  She turned 2 and a half this week.  It's not all sunshine and rainbows, but it's true what they say.  The time does go by so fast.... 

My mom complains that I didn't do the "baby book" thing for my daughter.  I didn't write it down, so I don't really remember how much she weighed at 18 mos, or when she got her first tooth or whether we tried fruit or veggie baby food first.  But I like these kinds of updates better.  Someday I hope she will too...

Hannie is a happy, healthy, beautiful, joyful two and half year old.  She is full of light and life and love.  She loves pretending and make believe and creating stories. If you give her a scrap of paper, it immediately becomes an airplane, or a caterpillar, or a blanket for a tiny doll.  She loves the rituals of family life -- stories before bedtime, family hugs, even simple things like getting the mail and the paper each morning.  She is constantly giggling.  The world is wickedly funny to her, and I see a class clown in my future.  It's fine.  We encourage silly.  She is doing great at swimming, and can swim from the slide to the ladder without any help.  She can write a lot of letters and draw a really good face. She does not like to sleep. That is probably her one downfall.  She can scream REALLY loud.  I showed a video of her to a Haitian woman I work with.  Her response was "I've never heard a set of lungs like that on a white child before." LOL.  During her second year of life, Hannie has shown very awesome ability to get along with her kids her age. Her social intelligence is very high. I can't take credit for this at all. But I am very proud. Just sayin'.  She talks. A lot.  Even in her sleep.  Sometimes it's embarrassing. Case in point:  At the end of Little Gym, everyone gets a stamp.  Hannie to her instructor:  "Mr. Steve, I want my stamp on my foot.  My feet stink.  Will you smell my feet? I bet you feet stink too. Can I have two stamps?!"

Happy Two Years Together Miss H.  Mommy loves you to the moon and back.

Making doughnuts (see below) with Mom..BRINGIN IT in our matching aprons.

Hannie and her bestie Ava at Ava's Mommy's Bridal Shower

Snow, finally!  But it melted right away.

I love you, Hannie.  

i carry your heart with me(i carry it in
my heart)i am never without it(anywhere
i go you go,my dear; and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)
i fear
no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want
no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)

e.e. cummings