Sunday, November 28, 2010

Dolce far Niente, The Sweetness of Doing Nothing


The video above was made by my sweet friend, Jim, and will be used in a project I am working on.  Jim is an AP to a beautiful baby boy from Kazakhstan as well.  The Kaz family has once again amazed me with it's generosity of spirit.  As for Hannie and I, we are doing well.  16 mos has been a crash course in parenting 101. As you can see from the pics below, Hannie is now walking ALMOST on her own, and with mobility has come independence.  The baby gates are up, anything breakable and/or dangerous has been moved to a higher shelf or locked in a cabinet.  I find myself saying many things I never thought I would say, such as:

Hannie, stay out of the doggy's cage.

Hannie Elizabeth DO NOT throw the baby Jesus in the toilet! ( perhaps I should clarify, she got a she got a nativity set)

For the love of Pete, Hannie, we don't eat sticks of butter. 

As of late, I have often been pondering  a quote I once heard from my favorite author, Elizabeth Gilbert, who said, 

"There are only two questions that human beings have ever fought over, all through history.
How much do you love me?  And who's in charge?"

And anyone who has ever been in any type of relationship, be it with a significant other or with a child, knows that this is true.



Compared to September and October, our November calendar has been blessedly clear, and Hannah and I are truly enjoying, as the Italians would say, "dolce far niente", which loosely translated, means the sweetness of doing nothing. We do have a few things on the agenda, we are planning a trip to the Festival of Lights with my friend Emily, her little girl Isabella (two weeks younger than Hannah, and her BFF) and our moms, who are also friends. In an attempt to give my daughter "presence, not presents" for the holidays, we also purchased museum center passes (good for the Children's, History, and Science Museums) with 3 other Kaz Families in the area so we are looking forward to spending some time there. As a matter of fact, we went today, and imagine our surprise when we LITERALLY stumbled over a YURT!!!    


  We are also excited to announce that Hannie will get to be a flower girl in a wedding this spring/early summer.  My friend Jenny is getting married and Hannie and I are both  in the wedding.  I know I am biased, but she will just look SO cute dressed as a miniature bride.  I am already having panic attacks about how we will keep the dress and her clean long enough for her to walk down the aisle and smile for pictures. And speaking of pictures....












And I would like to end this blog, with a poem, which I stole from another friend's blog :-)

I didn't give you the gift of life,
But in my heart I know.
The love I feel is deep and real,
As if it had been so.
 
For us to have each other
Is like a dream come true!

No, I didn't give you The gift of life,
Life gave me the gift of you.

Lots of love and light, ~Erin

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Celebrate Adoption (cause life is short but sweet for certain....)





It's been a busy month. We went to the turkey festival last weekend, this weekend is the Annual Orient Way neighborhood Thanksgiving, then Sunday we are going to a Kaz Kids meetup and also there is an Adoption Celebration at church.  Oh, and in between those things, Saturday morning Hannah will be a "grand marshal" in Hamilton's annual Santa Claus parade (perks of having a godfather who also happens to be the mayor).  Then Thursday is the actual turkey day, which in our family entails eating all day and watching National Lampoons Xmas Vacation.  Then its family game night and some shopping on Black Friday!  Whew, I am tired and the fun hasn't even started yet!   As you can see from the pictures above, Hannah did not enjoy meeting the big man in red.  Not enjoyed may be an understatement.  She howeled like she was on fire the entire time we were there.  She did recover enough to enjoy a nice Christmas cookie and look at the fish (we were at Bass Pro).  Also, some random tidbits from this month...

***I recently asked Hannie what she wanted for Christmas this year.  She stared at me for a minute and then dug through my purse and handed me my car keys. Apparently, she would like her own car.  This child is ALL THINGS FABULOUS!!***

***Her new favorite books are called Everyone Poops, The Gas We Pass, and  Walter the Farting Dog.  Is this normal?! I am not so sure.***

***The KAZmaniac took her first of I am sure many trips to the ER this month.  I was not home, Mom was watching her and she set her on the kitchen counter to wipe her face.  Hannie spied the cookie jar, lunged for it, and took a nose dive onto the hard wood kitchen floor.  She's fine, except for a black and blue knot on her forehead.  Good thing the social worker's post placement visit was LAST month, LOL.***
 
Celebrating Adoption  is a photographers' organization dedicated to providing beautiful portraits celebrating a family's new adoption.  Recently, one of the photographers came to the house and snapped a few shots of Hannie. Here is a sneak peek of the photos.










The only other interesting thing going on right now is that I am involved with a VERY cool adoption project with my wonderful agency.  It's not public knowledge yet, but it will be soon and I can't wait to share it with all of you (and NO...I am NOT adopting again yet!)  Happy Thanksgiving to all my friends, and in the words of Hannah, GOBBLE GOBBLE MAMA!!! XOXO ~Erin

Thursday, November 4, 2010

Adoption Awareness Month

November is Adoption Awareness Month. It's a great opportunity to raise awareness about the miracle of adoption and the hundreds of thousands of kids all over the world in foster care and/or orphanages who are waiting for their forever homes.  Here is a link to a great Cheerio's commercial about adoption.  How many of us didn't use food to bond with our children during those first few days?!
http://videosostav.ru/video/f52ff5d2b8228c0484e5871361ab94c5/

Here is some NOT so good news...and a call to action! Sony is using anti-adoption advertising in their new commercial for the Playstation Move.   In the commercial, a man spouts out "You're adopted!" as an insult to the person playing against him just to throw them off their game?!!  If you can spare a minute, email Playstation’s PR division and let them know what you think of it. Here is the link to the You Tube commercial.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-YkPtWUohaA&feature=player_embedded.

Finally it is November, and I have SO MANY wonderful things to be Thankful For this year.  I have started a gratitude journal, and each night I post a few things I am grateful/thankful for.  Here is a snapshot of what it looks like so far...

It is November 1st, and I am thankful for my dog.  Even on the toughest days, there is no psychologist in the world like a puppy licking your face.  

It is November 2nd, and I am thankful for the first Christmas decorations going up.  I love them all, from the lights to the yard ornaments.  They really do put me in the holiday spirit. After all, nothing says the Birth of Jesus like a 12 foot tall fiber optic spinning snowman. 

It is November 3rd, and I am thankful for my friends.  I have AMAZING friends.  Friends who drop everything to travel to an underdeveloped country for 5 weeks with me while I adopt a child.  Friends who treat my daughter like she is their own.  Friends who know everything about me, and like me anyway.  It's true what they say, the best friends you will ever have are the first ones you ever made.

It's November 4th, and I am thankful for Summer.  Summer is my season, the one I wait for all year long.  I heard it said once that you can live a lifetime in the summer, especially when you are young.

It's November 5th, and I am thankful for my hometown of Hamilton!  It's really small, but we have an awesome ice cream stand, a sculpture park, and the distinction of being the only city in the US with an exclamation point after it's name.   With this embarrassment of riches, I am shocked more of you haven't relocated here.

Of course, I am most thankful this year for my beautiful daughter.


This tiny, demanding person who came into my life and somehow inexplicably moved my soul to dance.

Not only my daughter, but the country of Kazakhstan and the birth mother who gave me her most precious gift.  I may never know what her circumstances were, but one thing I  know for sure is that there are NO accidental children in the world.  Every child who is born is planned for and created by God. And for that, I am truly, deeply thankful.       

 

.



Thursday, October 28, 2010

You Had Me at Privyet

 6 months ago today, I walked off the plane in Cincinnati, Ohio and began a new stage of life as Hannah's mom.  Tomorrow, she and I will be baking a cake together to celebrate our 6 month Hannaversary.  A big gooey pumpkin cake with cream cheese frosting! 

As I stood in the kitchen this evening, checking to make sure we had all the ingredients, my mind wandered to a random day in October 2 years ago, when I began thinking about adoption.  I thought about, prayed about it, even made a pros and cons list.  There were lots of reasons NOT to do it.  I had just turned 27, wasn't married, didn't have a huge savings account, hadn't ever traveled outside of North America, etc. 

About this same time, I made a vision board.  For those of you who don't obsessively watch and quote Oprah, a vision board is a visual representation or collage of the things that you want to have, be, or do in your life.The purpose of a vision board is to activate the law of attraction to begin to pull things from your external environment that will enable you to realize your dream. By selecting pictures and writing that charges your emotions with feelings of passion, you will begin to manifest those things into your life.

On a whim, I added to my vision board a picture of a little girl with big dark eyes and a happy smile.    I put the vision board in my closet and didn't think about it much over the next few months, until I went to church and heard a sermon that spoke to my heart.  The message was this  Behold, children are a gift of the LORD, The fruit of the womb is a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, so are the children of one's youth. How blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them; They will not be ashamed when they speak with their enemies in the gate. Ps 127:3-5

That was a Sunday, and the following Monday, after much soul searching, waivering,  I made a decision. 

I chose to believe the universe unfolds perfectly as it should.  I chose to trust my heart, and I chose to acknowledge what is felt.   

I chose to make the leap, and find my wings on the way down.     

And she's here today because I did.














As I assembled the flour, the sugar, and the eggs, I gaze around and marvel at all I have been given.  I am blessed beyond measure, this much I know is true.  I have a wonderful home,  amazing friends, a rewarding profession.  But most importantly, I have my daughter. 
The rest, as they say, is just icing on the cake.

And for the out of town relatives.... who want to know every mundane detail.....
 
Hannah  recently had her 15 month well child visit.  She has grown another inch (she is up to 32) and is still in the 90th percentile for height. Still tall and skinny; I am buying her clothes in a size 2T, and pants fit length wise but are baggy in the waist.  She has 6 teeth and is starting to get molars in the back.  Her favorite books are Brown Bear Brown Bear, The Very Hungry Caterpillar, and The Nose Book.  She recently starting biting, a habit which her pediatrician assures me is developmentally appropriate and will dissipate with age.  Her favorite toys are her kitchen set, her peg board, her easel (she LOVES to scribble), her shape sorters.  She is starting to show an interest in puzzles.  Her favorite foods are juice, rice, pizza, bananas, and Oreos.  She is not walking yet but definitely cruising. She loves to play outside.  She likes being around other kids, especially the neighbors, Dalton (her Kazakh buddy), Isabella Fening (her bff), Owen Craft, and Rebekah Mignery.  Talks all day long, has almost every phoneme.  She loves to brush her teeth and try to dress herself.  She throws a ball really well and loves to dance. This week we have gone to the Halloween Parade in Oxford, carved pumpkins with Papa, played in the leaf pile.  Happy 6 months in America, Hannie.  May you always walk with the grace and dignity that comes from knowing you are CHERISHED.

Saturday, October 16, 2010

Lions and Tigers and Dalai Lamas OH MY!!!










Does anyone else totally forget that their child is adopted?  My family does, all the time.  When Hannah learned to use a fork at the young age of 11 months, my dad proudly attributed it to her having the "Herman thumbs."  When her physical therapist admonished us for allowing her to "W sit" my mom reported, "It runs in the family, my brother Jeff used to do that."  Love is, of course, what makes a family, not bloodlines or ancestry, but isn't it funny how, as adoptive parents, we seem to get the child who was specifically meant to be ours?  As Hannah blossoms from infant to toddler (and folks, we are talking full-fledged toddler mode here, with tantrums and all)  it amazes me how she seems to "take after" me.  When I took her to pick out her first pair of shoes the other day, she chose hot pink sneakers covered with pink rhinestones and rubies.  "She likes the bling, bling," I found myself telling the sales girl, "its in her blood." 

Oddly, I haven't had any questions from strangers about whether or not she is adopted.  Kazakhstan is truly a melting pot of cultures, and, Hannah is not, according to her birth documents, ethnically Kazakh.  I guess most people assume that I am her mother and her birthfather was Asian, because I am all the time hearing how much she looks like me.  I don't see it; she looks truly Eurasian, with big dark eyes but lighter hair, and unless I do a birthparent search (which I probably won't unless at some point in the future we need medical information or Hannah just specifically wants to know), I may never know exactly what her ethnicity is.  I read a pretty cool article the other day on adoption etiquette and I thought for fun I would repost some of it.

Single Dad Laughing's Guide to Adoption Etiquette.

Never, ever, ever, ask how much a child costs. This includes the phrase, "how much did you pay for him?" First of all, it's none of your business. Second of all, if you're interested in adoption, research it through the appropriate channels. Speak with an adoption agency. Adoptive parents don't purchase children. They simply pay legal fees and agency fees. Just like biological parents pay hospital and doctor bills. Don't turn the child into nothing more than a commodity.

Never ask if a celebrity inspired the adoption. Believe it or not, Tom Cruise, Connie Chung, and Angelina Jolie did not convince me one way or the other in the biggest decision of my life. Are you serious?

Never ask "where is his real dad?" Forget the fact that it will hurt my feelings. How do you think it will affect my son's feelings to feel like I'm not a real dad to him? Adoptive parents are real parents. The term you're looking for is "birth mother" or "birth father".

Don't say things like, "as soon as you adopt you're going to get pregnant" when you find out somebody is adopting. First of all, there are usually many, many years of pain and financial burden strapped to infertility, treatments, and heartache. Do you really think that what you're saying will help them? Secondly, while it is funny when it happens, it's rare.

Never say, "why did she give him away?" Do I really need to explain why this one would hurt a child? The proper term is "placed". A birth mother and birth father place their child for adoption. And again, it's personal and none of your business, so don't ask if you aren't my BFF.

Don't say, "it's like he's your real son". This is similar to number three, but worthy of mentioning. He is my real son, damn it.

Don't say, "do you love him as if he was your own?" Ummm... probably more than you love your little terror, that's for sure. And again... he is my own, damn it.

Never say things like, "you're so wonderful to adopt a child". I am a parent. Just like anybody else with kids.

Don't start spewing your horrible adoption stories. "This one time, my friend's sister's aunt's dog's previous owner's niece adopted a baby and the real dad came back and they took the baby away after they had him for two years." First of all, it probably isn't true. Second of all, how would you feel if I told you about all the ways you could lose your child. Adoption is permanent. And in the extremely rare circumstances that something like that happens, it's not something you should spread because the hurt that exists for all the parties involved must be immeasurable.

Don't say things like, "is it hard for him to be adopted?" Well, it wasn't, until you asked me that right in front of him you freaking idiot.

I don't want to hear about your second cousin who was on a waiting list for twelve years and never got a baby. Granted, this one was much more annoying when we were going through the adoption process. Nobody wants to know that some people never get chosen. Show some kindness. Even to ugly people.

So that's the list.  And it's funny cause it's true. 

Switching gears.....  It has been a busy, busy, busy October!  My friend Emily generously offered to let Hannah and I tag along on her Zoo pass to the Cincinnati Zoo last weekend for their HallZOOeen Extravaganza.  2 things to know about Hannah.  She is crazy, and she absolutely LOVES animals.  So I knew she would be thrilled with the zoo, and she was.  She can name sooo many animals and it was fun to see her recognize them IRL.  Today was Howl-O-Fest at Kings Island, the local amusement park.  Fearless Hannah will ride anything, but it was crowded and she missed her nap so we left when she totally started to meltdown.  We also did a Hike for Hospice this month, and this week Hannah will be staying with Nana while I go with my good friend Thomas to see the hottest ticket in town, the Dalai Lama.  He is speaking on "Ethics in a Modern World" at our  Alma Mater, Miami University.
  I'd like to end by congratulating all my friends who are headed to Kaz in the next few months to either pick up or bond with their children.  May you each find as much joy and happiness in your new family as I have found with mine.   


         

Sunday, September 26, 2010

Boo-tiful baby!!!











Just wanted to write a quick blog to say THANK YOU to all those who donated to Walk for Kaz.  We raised over $10,000 and the money will go directly to 2 Hearts for Hope, to pay for new beds for a Children's Home in Taraz, KZ.  My awesome team, the Kazmanian Devils, won several awards, including most money raised, the team spirit award, the costume award, etc.  Yep, That's how we roll.  We had a great weekend in Indy as well.  Shauna and I drove down with the kids Friday afternoon.  We had a big group dinner on Friday, and then after the Kaz Kiddies went to bed, the Kaz Mamas gathered in the hallway of the hotel for wine and girl talk.  I hadn't seen some of my Kaz girls since 'palooza  way back in June, so it was nice to get to catch up with everyone again.  Saturday morning it was breakfast buffet at the hotel and then onto the park for the 5K.  Let me tell you,   I am not as in shape as I used to be!!!  Pushing a stroller up hills for 3 miles  when I could be inside watching Jersey Shore is not my cup of tea. Ah, the things we do for the ones we love!!  Note to self: next year volunteer to man the water table so as to avoid physical exertion, LOL!!
    When I got home Saturday night, I found out my mom had been admitted to the hospital!  She is diabetic and it may have been related to that as well as her sinuses.  Thankfully, she is home now and feeling moderately better.  Today we went with Jaime and the boys to the pumpkin patch at Barn and Bunk.  Since Hannie doesn't have siblings (yet ;-) ) its nice she has lots of cousin to hang with.  They loved it.  Last weekend we took all the kids to Whitewater Park, which was also a great time.  I can't say I loved the paddle boats, but the kids had fun at the playground, feeding the ducks, etc.
      Hannah also had a minor health scare this month, we had to take her to get a stomach X ray because she has trouble, well, pooping.  Luckily, there was no obstruction, but she had to have several enemas and  she now takes Miralax every other day. So far, it's working.  She continues to amaze me developmentally. She talks and talks and talks, geez you'd think her mom was a speech therapist or something!!  She is not walking yet (because of her foot) but she pulls to a stand and cruises.  She can also do a somersault, which I find strange.   She is even putting 2 words together!!!  Unfortunately, now that she is talking, I am finding that she has a lot of complaints!! She wants "mik" instead of juice, and says NO quite a bit.  She is  definitely hit upon an independence stage, she wants to feed herself (she does great with a fork and has proven to be an enthusiastic, if not particularly neat eater), dress herself, brush her (6!) teeth without help, etc.  14 mos is a fun age, but I have said that about all of them so far.  One more weird thing. Last night I had a very clear and precise dream that I had a second child.  She was younger than Hannah, and I named her Saylor Grace, a name I don't think I had ever heard before.  Ha!  That is all for tonight, to all of you out there in blog world, have a great week! ~Erin