Getting closer!

I am happy to report that my dossier is where it needs to be in Kaz and I am just waiting for THE CALL!! I had paid my final fees (except for what needs to be paid in Kaz), received my travel guide, prepared my travel documents, and I am ready to go. For those waiting families who are reading this, some encouragement: once it hit the New York consulate, my paperwork flew through the ministries in less than 3 months. I wanted to post this update, however, because Elizabeth and I learned something important this past week. Attention all travelers: make sure you have Visa pages left in your passport!!! If you are out, allow at least a few weeks to get more, unless you want to have to call a senator, fight with the embassy, or find a passport office you can get to (ours is 5 hours away in Chicago). Needless to say, lesson learned.
Also, totally off topic, but for those of you on Facebook, please help!! My dog Roxi is a top ten contestant in a beauty contest and she needs your vote!! Please search for CINCINNATI MUSEUM CENTER on facebook. Become a fan, then scroll down to the photo group that says ROYAL PETS. Click on the picture of the beautiful boxer dressed like a fairy and CLICK LIKE. The winner gets a free membership to the museum center, which includes the children's museum, the history museum, the science museum, and the Omnimax. Thanks everyone, have a great Thanksgiving, and I will post again as soon as I hear something :-) Erin

Whoever said no news is good news never waited to adopt a baby!

As you may have guessed by reading the title of this post, I still have NO NEWS :-( Someone recently told me about The Secret, aka the Law of Attraction. So, in spite of not knowing when the call will come, I am continuing to prepare as though it will happen sooner rather than later.

I am starting to get the room together, and I will post pictures soon. I am not painting it, though (sorry, Mom) for the following reasons: 1) I don't like to paint. 2) I like the color the room is now (khaki). And 3) there is always the SLIGHT chance the baby could end up being a girl, in which case robins egg blue paint would just not be cool. However, I am giving in to all the decorating peer pressure ordered some vinyl lettering off etsy (my new favorite, highly addictive website) and my friend Thomas gave me a really cool Pottery Barn Kids canvas painting that I will hang up.

Oh, and I do have some good news.I finally heard that ~ There were no changes to the Kaz adoption law. The bonding period remains 14 days and there are still no age restrictions. I am attending a teleconference on the courier option next week, I haven't made a decision on that yet, but I am leaning toward YES.

So anyway, congrats to my friends Karen and Susan who are BOTH in Kaz now adopting their little girls (to all those non-adopters out there, here is something to know. 90% of people who adopt internationally request girls). I am hanging out here, traveling a bit, and enjoying the quiet while I can :-) I am sure the end result will be "Worth the Wait." Happy Halloween everyone! Erin

Bashert in Yiddish

At work last week a young patient of mine and I were discussing idioms. Being Israeli, English is not this little one's first (or second) language, and he struggles with phrases whose meanings cannot be determined by the literal definition. Today he came in with a question. "What does 'meant to be' mean?" he asked me. I attempted to explain it to him. "It means that something is destined, or fated to happen." He nodded, and informed me that there is a Yiddish word, "Bashert," that means basically the same thing. I nodded, not thinking too much about it, and then we moved on to his second idiomatic question "What does cut the cheese mean?"
Fast forward to today. It's Yom Kippur, the holiest day of the year in Judaism. I was driving to my first appointment of the day, and I was a little down in the dumps (another good example of figurative language), wondering when I was going to get some news on the Kazakhstan adoption, and second guessing my self for like the millionth time, when all the sudden a truck passed me on the highway. It said "Bashern Towing." Only the "n" was scratched off, so it looked more like a "t." Bashern. Bashert. Meant to be.


Then it hit me. There are no accidents. I'm not so worried about the time frame anymore. It will happen when it is supposed to happen. Somewhere in Kazakhstan there is a little boy who is my son. And I am meant to be his mom.

When I got home, there was an email from my coordinator. Things are moving along, she said. You should hear something soon. I'll keep you posted.

Inch by Inch

It's official: My documents are in Kazakhstan! I should have posted this sooner but there were a bunch of changes that took place recently, including the Consul in NY stepping down, and some new laws that will come before Parliament in October that may change the bonding period time in Kaz (which will likely affect me) as well lower the age range for adoptive parents (which won't affect me at all). Anyway, I talked to my agency today, and as far as anyone knows, all is well, but I probably won't hear anything for at least another 6 weeks. Also, I have decided to invite my friend Elizabeth along on at least part of the trip. We have known each other since grade school and travel well together, and I think it will be great having her along. Until then, I am staying busy at work, planning a few trips for fall, and swimming in the pool (of course, by this I mean laying on a raft drinking lemonade and reading Us Weekly). Hmmmm wonder what I will be doing next year at this time?!

Dossier gone, more waiting

I know, I know, I need to update this blog more frequently. I am happy to report that after numerous document updates, my dossier is submitted and it is now officially time for...MORE WAITING. Apparently, according to agency, dossier submission is slow in the summer, as it also is in the spring, winter, and fall. Actually, I think this will be the hardest part, as the paperchase is now over and I can no longer keep myself busy with notarizing, apostilling, fingerprinting, etc. Basically, it's all up to Kazakhstan now. I have been going to some yard sales to get some baby stuff (um, why did no one tell how expensive little people are?) and although I know I should be buying the essentials, strollers, clothes, crib, etc. I am happy to report that I bought none of that but am now the proud owner of a Step 2 toddler roller coaster. Also, Jaime and the kids were here for a visit this weekend and Jacob had plenty of helpful suggestions for baby names. Some of his favorites were: Marcus, Roger, Roxi (also my dogs name, might get confusing), and Carmine. Hmmmm I will have to get back to him on those names. Anyway, just wanted to check in, more updates to come, hopefully soon!! Have a safe and happy 4th of July, everyone!

Change is the only constant

There have been some changes to my adoption plan. For the time being, that is all I am going to say. I will keep everyone updated, thank you for all your love and support.

because well-behaved women rarely make history...

Many of you know the recent legislation regarding the Butler county foster system. I wrote this letter to the journal news expressing my thoughts....

This letter is in response to Butler County's four state lawmakers who support a proposed local Children Services policy that would give preference in foster and adoption decisions to married couples over single or gay parents.

I am a single professional female living in the Butler county area. I recently made the decision to adopt a child. After much research and soul-searching, I have chosen to adopt internationally rather than domestically. Why, you may ask, have I decided to travel halfway across the world (to Kazakhstan) and spend over $40,000 to become a parent when there are many, many, adoptable children in Butler County? I made that decision because I live in a place where the system makes it very difficult for singles, even responsible, financially stable, tax-paying and civil-rights advocating citizens, to adopt a child.

I am vigorously opposed to and disgusted by this proposal, which is supported by outgoing Children Services Director Michael Fox, as well as State Sen. Gary Cates, and Reps. William Coley, Courtney Combs and Timothy Derickson. The bottom line is that there aren't enough foster and adoptive families to go around, period. With this new legislation, there will be even fewer. Sexual orientation and/or marital status does not play into one's ability to parent. Our goal as a community should be to get these children out of the system and into a stable, nurturing environment. Not forcing everyone to live the way you live and believe the way you believe.

I believe that by supporting this policy, these individuals are not only discriminating against single and gay adults, but also preventing children from knowing love in any definition other than the narrow standard by which they themselves holds to be true. It is disheartening to me to see the narrow definition of "family" that is often propagated by a people who are elected to enforce justice and democracy. It's time for old-fashioned and outdated definitions of "family" to be redefined in favor of allowing people, free American people, to become parents. It's time for us to understand that a “good family” is not based on marital status or sexual orientation. A good family is whats best for a child -- and there are lots of singles and same sex couples out there who are EXCELLENT families. And for those who disagree, let us just for a moment consider the rights of now deceased Marcus Fisel, who was murdered by his “preferable” married foster parents, Liz and David Carroll . Imagine if he had *gasp* been in a home with a single parent or gay couple. He might still be alive today.

Most of the negative effects of single parenting are associated with a supposed lack of financial and social resources. However, many singles (myself included) have a good, steady income, and have a wealth of social and familial support around them. Single parent households are often breeding grounds for creativity, persistence, optimism, and hard work. These are all great qualities to instill in children. The effects of single parenting are evident in kids who learn early how to be self-sufficient, stand up to stereotypes, roll with the punches, and set realistic goals. These children (my own included) are and will be pillars of strength and determination, and the class and fortitude with which they step out into the world is sure to reap dividends for them in the future.

As a community, we have to stop allowing the few who cannot step out of their archaic boxes to force the rest of us into those same boxes. Hiding behind the idea that being raised by a single parent or same-sex couple is damaging or inadequate is a pretense, one that has been disproven time and time again by research.

Citizens of Butler County, I implore you to fight the battle of equal rights for single parents and gay couples. Senators, commissioners, representatives, please don't let yourselves become corrupt by the agendas of those less capable of progressive thought. Let the rights of your constituents trump the desires of your colleagues. Say no to those who cannot move away from ideas that should be long dead and help Butler County, Ohio step into its rightful place as a trailblazer for progress and the TRUE welfare of children.

Sincerely,

Erin Herman

Quick Note

Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the lord's purpose that prevails. -- Proverbs 19:21

Just thought I would write an update since it's been about a month. I am still waiting to submit my dossier, I got an email from my facilitator:

Kazakhstan: Kazakhstan continues to run smoothly, despite some delays. We have many families traveling to meet their children soon and several families already in-country. Families have brought 14 children home already this year! Dossier submission is still slower than in the past; however, we have been told to expect that we will be able to resume submitting dossiers in a more normal manner soon. With the exception of the paperwork, things are moving along well. Because of the timing issues associated with dossier submission we are asking client families not to start any dossier work until they have spoken with our dossier specialist and been informed when to start working on the dossier.

All in all, I think everything is okay. All the paperwork, including the I-71 (aka the GOLDEN TICKET, according to my agency) is ready to go, and as soon as the backup at the embassy subsides, on it will go. In other news, I got to meet Dalton, the world's cutest smartest, happiest baby (Shauna, can I please post a pic please please please?!) whom my friend adopted from Kaz this past January. I am hosting a baby shower for my business partner Angela, who is also having a baby boy this year (great planning on our part, huh?!) and this morning I called into the radio and won a two night stay at any Best Western in the US!!! Whoo-hoo. And now some shout outs: Kate, Jared's mom, thanks SO MUCH for the toys and the Supergate. It will totally come in handy. Janet, thanks SO MUCH for the offer of the crib. My baby won't have a chandelier in his/her room like Princess Molly, but at least he/she can sleep in style!! Love it!! Sue ~ Thank you thank you for the car seat, and Kristen ~ the activity center is downright awesome. Heidi and Bill ~ thanks a ton for the Leap Pad and games!! The kids at the clinic are already enjoying them, you guys are seriously the best neighbors ever, Snickers included. And Mom - thanks for the DS, it will provide me hours of enjoyment on what I am sure will b e a L-O-N-G flight. I am lucky to have such great friends and family. And speaking of friends, my friend Meg encouraged me to make a "bucket list" of things I would like to do in my lifetime. I am trying to pass the time before Kaz by completing a few of them. Last month, I went geocaching and this month I am getting my palms read. Here it goes:

See a fashion show
Enter the Pillsbury bake off
Learn chess
Parasail
Relearn piano
Learn to surf
Visit a fortune teller
Take a photography class
Take a wine tasting class
Visit Hawaii
Take an rv trip cross country and see the grand canyon, the painted desert, mt rushmore, wall drug, etc
Visit new york
Go on a ski trip, learn to snowboard
Get married
Hit tennis balls with andy roddick
Go to a dude ranch
Attend the republican national convention
Eat a fish I caught myself
Have a ghostly experience
Live in a log cabin
Live by the beach
Learn golf
Attend an Olympic event
Watch a game from a suite, skybox, courtside, etc.
Go on a 3 day cruise
Start an orchard and a vegetable garden
Go to an ohio state game
Learn a new language
Visit Washington dc
Write a book
Go to a spa
Swim with a dolphin
See oprah
Go up in a hot air balloon
See Alaska
Sip a mint julep at the derby
Spend a whole year volunteering
Learn to drive a stick shift
Learn to sail
Watch a shuttle launch
Have children
Go on a game show
See barry manilow in concert

Anyone have any ideas on how to accomplish any of these things? I will keep you all updated on the adoption stuff. Maybe I will just forgo Kaz and adopt some of those Octuplets out West. seriously, have you guys seen that crazy lady? I think it's safe to say, somewhere in California, a very large clock is missing it's cuckoo.

On we go.

Erin

Prayer request...the first bump in the road

Soooo, when I first started the adoption process, my facilitator told me "enjoy the process, but expect delays." Well friends the first delay has occurred. Due to the closing of Guatemalan adoptions and the L-O-N-G wait for China adoptions, many, many, people are transferring to Kaz. My Dossier Preparation teleconference call was cancelled this week by LMI and I was told to hold off - indefinitely - on completing any more paperwork since the Kaz consulate is so backed up. I probably won't even get another update for at least a few more weeks. So, please pray that the phone call comes soon :-)

In other news, the basement remodel is almost completed and will make a nice playroom :-)

It takes a village

Just a quick update. Things are moving along nicely. The homestudy is done, and I am waiting on my I-71 to come back from USCIS. My dossier is almost complete, I have a phone conference next week with my agency to finalize everything. I do have one concern. As many of you may know, TV is a very big part of my life. I have a rigourous viewing schedule and I have grown very concerned that while I am on my journey to Kazakhstan, I may in fact miss some of my favorite shows. I will most likely be traveling during sweeps month, which makes an already difficult problem even worse. Having said that, I hope we can band together as a village and prevent this problem from taking place. If each of you could take just one show and tivo if for me while I am gone, I would be uber-grateful. Especially if someone could take the Ace of Cakes. You know I loves me some Duff G. Also, on a totally unrelated note, knitting party is the evening of Feb 5th at my house, all are welcome. Appetizers and a special surprise guest!! (It's not Roxi). And a special shout out to Lisa, thanks so much for the high-chair, it will be well used!!